scenic view of ocean during sunset

Where Fear Treads

Cancer.  It’s a word that strikes fear in even the strongest and heartiest of souls.  There are few people these days that haven’t had someone in their lives deal with this invasive disease.  No one wants or expects this diagnosis to be directed at them and it is extremely traumatic when the words are said – “You have cancer.”

Just a few weeks ago I did something that has to rate as one of the most challenging things I have ever done in my life – walk through the doors of my local cancer clinic.  As I struggled not to cry, I looked around at the multitude of people milling about.  There were so many and now I had joined their ranks.  My emotions ran high as I tried to absorb all that was happening to me.

It has been a rollercoaster ride for me.  I had no cancer symptoms or risk factors for this type of cancer.  The suspicious abnormal cells were found when I went in for treatment for something else.  That was actually the first of a number of miracles.  Catching this cancer early likely means a very good prognosis.  

Discussing matters with my doctor, I was informed that it could be 4 weeks to get into the cancer clinic and another 4-6 weeks to have my surgery.  That flipped me out.  Firstly, because I start a new teaching job in fall and I didn’t want to miss out on those important first days of school, and secondly because, now that I knew my body contained cancer, I wanted it removed as soon as possible.

Yet our gracious God had other plans for me and more miracles to provide.  A cancellation at the cancer clinic meant I saw them in two days.  My surgery was booked for ten days later because a date had opened up.  Now, just over three weeks from my diagnosis, I am recuperating from surgery.

I am overwhelmed at God’s power and might in working through my situation.  As my fears multiplied and threatened to overtake me, God put steps in motion to move me through the process quicker than normal.  I did not have time to dwell on my fears and insecurities as the treatment process advanced so rapidly.

Now is different, however.  As I sit in my rocking chair recuperating, the inactivity gives me a lot of time to think.  Fear raises its ugly head most days as I wait to find out the stage of cancer I have and the ongoing treatment plan expected.  I try to keep fear at bay, but that is a losing battle when I attempt to fight it on my own.

When fear threatens to surround me and choke out any semblance of peace, I turn to our Lord.  He knows and understands and He comforts me through His Word and His people.  When I want to focus on all the bad results that might happen, the Lord reminds me of His promises and faithfulness.  When I despair that I will ever feel normal again, I remember He will never leave me or forsake me.  When the tears come rushing out and I cannot control the sobbing, I know the Lord holds my tears in His hand and assures me that I am never out of His reach of care.   

We are never alone.  We do not walk the tough roads of life without God’s support.  His help is there for the asking.  I am holding onto that fact as I daily come to the cross and release all my cares and worries to the only One who can solve them for me.  

Remember, where fear treads, God is there.  

3 Comments

  • Laura

    Thanks for your kind words. In the four weeks since my diagnosis I have had a lot to process. In all honesty it has been a very difficult story to share and one that I have kept relatively private up until now. It is a hard reality to face but I know I am never alone. God ministers to me through so many channels. I pray that others will draw comfort from the fact that God is there – no matter what the situation.

  • Elizabeth Platz

    Praying for you, Auntie, for healing and for the peace that passes all understanding while you wait for the results.

  • Vicki

    Dear Laura,
    God has given you a pillar of strength as you relate your journey through cancer. What a beautiful thing for you to be sharing your experience! Your faith replaces the fear that is so difficult to avoid. You are God’s shining light, Laura and we are all grateful and thankful for you and your ministry. In prayer for healing.
    Your sister-in-Christ,
    Vicki Laramee

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