As I sit down to write this, it is exactly one month since I was told I have cancer. That day stands ingrained in my brain, with the days following feeling like I was riding turbulent ocean currents. Over and over again I felt bombarded with waves of strong emotions and increasing fears.
Today, the tides of water move in a different direction. I had a most interesting conversation with my oncologist. The pathology from my recent surgery found absolutely no cancer in what was removed. Her explanation is, that whatever abnormal cells existed were removed in the two biopsies I had.
I am still in shock. For months I have faced the possibility of cancer on my horizon. Having it confirmed a month ago shook me and turned my world askew. To have such an about face is definitely God’s loving hand at work.
One of the first questions that comes to mind is why I needed to go through this process at all. I have directed that question to God a few times of late. Yet, as my husband says, why not now? God has intervened to prevent a direr result. Had this not been caught so early I would almost certainly have faced a different future in the years ahead with less chance of survival. My life has been given back to me with hope for the future.
My main thought is – what now? I find myself very reflective. I know that God has a plan for me and I want to be open to serving Him wherever He leads. He has walked with me through the path of immense challenge, not just now with the cancer, but in other traumatic times in my life as well.
I know for a fact that God demonstrates His power in my weakness. More than once He has put me in a place where I am overwhelmed or out of control and there is nothing left but to lean on Him and His grace and mercy. Through God’s strength, He leads me to greater paths with renewed insight and energy. He has impressed on me to share with others that there is hope, no matter what happens or where we find ourselves.
While I am rejoicing today, I know that some of you reading this may not be feeling the same way about your own situation. All I can say is, that no matter what challenges this life throws at you, God is there through it all. In His wisdom He gives us what we need when we need it.
No one knows why God heals some and not others. No one knows why some live within happy marriages and others in abuse. No one knows why some live with plenty and others with little. Inequalities in life exist everywhere.
All we do know is this:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28 NIV)
Where is the good in cancer? Perhaps it is in the people we touch as we move through the medical aspects of that journey. Maybe it is the witness we give to others about how we trust in God throughout the ups and downs of the cancer process.
The same can be said for any ailment or adversity. When we truly believe that God has our ultimate good in mind, we look at life differently. How we handle the difficulties of life is a huge witness to those around us. The devil wants to smash us down and make us angry at God for whatever affliction impedes us. Through the saving work of Christ Jesus, we triumph over the devil’s flawed plans.
We are all made differently and God has different paths for each of us to walk. There is little point in wondering what life would be like if God had placed us somewhere else. The healthy thing to do is to focus on where God is leading us right where we are at. We might be walking a rough path and feel ourselves slipping from time to time. Be assured that God is there by your side, holding you up when things get rough.
Look to God as the source for all you need. He built you. He knows what you need. Seek Him earnestly and He will direct you.
No matter what you are facing this day, remember God loves you beyond measure. His light shines in your life no matter how deep the hole in which you find yourself. Hold onto God’s promises. The hope He provides is sure and certain.
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