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The Power Source
As I enjoy a leisurely breakfast I contemplate recent changes. For almost two years now, I have been able to enjoy a relaxed morning as I have been teaching from home in an online school. No long commutes. No making bag lunches. No long hours of preparation. I merely got myself ready and headed to my home office. I no longer have the freedom to go out for walks whenever I need a break. I miss time spent in my garden and enjoying the flora and fauna of my lovely country home throughout the day. I no longer have those precious early morning weekday hours to study and write.…
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Why
It’s a favourite toddler question. Why do I need to go bed? Why do birds fly? Why are apples red? Our young ones can find more “why” questions than we can ever imagine. It is their way of making sense of the world. Their inquisitive minds absorb incredible amounts of information in those early years. We are built to want to know the why of things. In our quest to gain the knowledge of the world, we want to know how things work and why things are as they are. Our human minds want to make sense of things and understand their purpose. The urge to know why has led…
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An Undivided Heart
Back in the days when my twins were toddlers our life was hectic. One of my biggest challenges was keeping up with two active little people who each had minds of their own. Inevitably, we would go outside and each of them would take off after their own pursuits. My heart was divided – which twin do I chase after? It agonized me at times to think that, while I was getting one child to safety, the other might be getting into serious trouble. The conflict in my mind was great. I felt so much easier when I had the two of them inside, in a single safe confined location.…
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Thanksgiving
For me, this year has been a journey through many hills and valleys. Through it all I have been overwhelmed at God’s loving hand through each and every step. While I don’t understand all the God has allowed in my life, I am truly thankful for His grace and mercy that have seen me through and for His miraculous hand bringing about healing and restoration. It is a year where I can truly agree with Billy Graham’s words: “Mountaintops are for views and inspiration, but fruit is grown in the valleys.” While going through challenges this year I wondered if I would ever gain strength to get out of…
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Even Then
Covid came to my classroom this week. Unlike last year, our class is not required to quarantine. While I am fully vaccinated, I fear for my little ones. They are so vulnerable. My risk level rises also. It is hard walking into that classroom each day knowing that this disease is likely going to work its way through my students. I have many mixed emotions over it all. I feel anger over many things that I can’t control that affect my life – things like government decisions to open up everything this summer when it was inevitable that fall would see a fourth wave of this nasty virus. Or……
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The Baby Dress
As I put the finishing touches on an infant dress for my granddaughter, the tears overwhelm me. Each tiny stitch, made with love, draws out strong emotions. While I am excited to have a precious new child to love, my thoughts continue to veer into sadness. I cry out to God. “I don’t want to see my granddaughter in just this dress Lord, I want to see her in her wedding dress too. Will that ever happen?” The hurt and pain rush over me and it is hard to stop the flow of uncertainty and grief. When the biopsy shows difficult results, it is challenging to have hope. The devil…
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The Tide Turns
As I sit down to write this, it is exactly one month since I was told I have cancer. That day stands ingrained in my brain, with the days following feeling like I was riding turbulent ocean currents. Over and over again I felt bombarded with waves of strong emotions and increasing fears. Today, the tides of water move in a different direction. I had a most interesting conversation with my oncologist. The pathology from my recent surgery found absolutely no cancer in what was removed. Her explanation is, that whatever abnormal cells existed were removed in the two biopsies I had. I am still in shock. For months…
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Backpack Days
I love to meet my students at the door each morning. There are the usual morning tussles as they get their gear hung up and search their backpacks for needed items. Those backpacks are an essential tool between home and school as notes and materials are passed back and forth between places. It always amazes me what children think necessary to bring to school. Their backpacks produce some surprising treasures some days. My children always used backpacks as well. They were a handy catchall for all things school and helped in keeping my kids organized. Most of the time, my children kept their packs relatively clean and orderly. Still,…
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Peace
Waiting is a challenging thing. It is one thing to await a special event; it is quite the opposite process when time lingers before a challenging task or circumstance. The morning of my cancer surgery I struggle with what to do with my time. I am not thrilled with my afternoon surgery appointment because I know that my mind will be racing in circles all morning, anticipating the events to come. Trying to ignore my hunger pangs, as I hadn’t been allowed to eat for hours, I begin mindlessly surfing the internet to bide the time. Moments before I need to start the long drive to the hospital, an email…
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Where Fear Treads
Cancer. It’s a word that strikes fear in even the strongest and heartiest of souls. There are few people these days that haven’t had someone in their lives deal with this invasive disease. No one wants or expects this diagnosis to be directed at them and it is extremely traumatic when the words are said – “You have cancer.” Just a few weeks ago I did something that has to rate as one of the most challenging things I have ever done in my life – walk through the doors of my local cancer clinic. As I struggled not to cry, I looked around at the multitude of people milling…
