Calming Our Anxious Thoughts

For the umpteenth time I remind myself to trust in God. He’s got this. I say that in many of my blog posts. My head knows it is true. Why can’t my heart get the message?

We can be well grounded in Scripture, be in worship, fellowship with believers – but still have those moments of doubt and uncertainty. The devil loves when he can get his digs in and upset our lives.

Some seasons of life just seem to promote anxiety in various forms. For me, it has come with some life changing decisions that need to be made. It has been months of back-and-forth feelings – from relief to fright.

I absolutely love working with kids. Teaching has been my passion since I was a teenager. It was tough slugging for me to gain my degree because of financial limitations. Much of my career has been a hard-fought process as I have tried to re-establish myself in different places. It has taken me a long time to be in a truly secure teaching situation. God is blessing me where I am with student successes and the opportunity to mentor others.

Last fall, things hit hard with two diagnoses that left me in a state of unrest. All my efforts to avoid them had been to no avail and I was told that stress is playing a huge role in my physical wellbeing. My job is a very stressful one with a high needs class and huge expectations from many fronts and my long commute is no help.

The decision to retire has been both an easy and difficult process. I know it is the right thing to do for my physical and emotional health and it is where God wants me right now. Yet, uncertainty and doubt do prevail. Some of that is grieving the loss of a career that I love. The financial challenges retirement brings cause me many anxious moments with current economic downturns. Considering what life will look like when it is no longer governed by the school year causes me to worry.

We all have times in life when our circumstances change and we must navigate new waters. Whether it is a big or little change, anxiety can seep in.

I was reminded last night of these words of Jesus:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? (Matthew 6:25)

Ultimately, we all have a choice to make. Do we live a life of trust in God or one where we are anxious? Scripture is full of verses that tell us that God will provide what we need when we need it. Our Lord walks with us through any path, easy or not.

Again, it comes down to the head getting it but maybe not the heart. For example, for me at this particular point I am feeling that my peers are more excited for my retirement than I am. I receive many well wishes daily. It makes me frustrated at times. Why am I not over the moon excited to finally have time to myself and be able to pursue the things I want when I want? What is holding me back from rejoicing over my soon to be freedom? A big part of the answer is anxiety.

Some of it also centers on identity. If I focus only on my identity as a teacher then retirement brings with it a huge sense of loss. How that changes is when I focus on where God is leading me right now and my identity as His child. He has a plan and a purpose for me through each stage of life. He did when I was a young mom and not teaching. God did when I was a university student preparing for my career. He will again as I explore new vistas in retirement.

Perhaps you are facing moments of anxiety right now. I would love to say “just trust God and all will be okay” but I know it’s not as easy as all that. Right now, my message, for myself and for you, is this – our Lord specifically says not to worry. He knows the severe damage that anxiety can cause in our lives. He is there to bring all our concerns and worries to. We can lay them at our Lord’s feet, trusting that He will make the way for us – the best way possible. It might be through a valley or two where He helps us grow and mature, but it will always be the best choice if we follow Him.

Many years ago, my daughter learned the praise chorus “I Cast All my Cares Upon You”. She sang it with all the gusto a four-year-old can muster. Sometimes, when I am unsure and those song words come to mind, I can still hear her voice – with all the trust that a child can bring. I pray that I can have that kind of trust – a childlike faith that trusts that God willingly takes all my cares upon Himself so I don’t have to carry the load.

Anxiety can rob us of so much. Keeping focused on our Lord’s faithfulness is a much better option.

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