Gaining Empathy

I walked into the large gym with great trepidation. I didn’t know anyone. I didn’t know where to sit or what to do. I didn’t like feeling so lost, but that had been common in recent days. My quiet nature didn’t help either as it made it daunting to try to start conversations with staff I didn’t know.

I had been thrust into a large public school after teaching for years in a small private Christian school where I knew everybody. Everything was overwhelming – the number of staff to get to know, all the new procedures, and many other new requirements. All I wanted to do was feel like I belonged and that someone cared.

This particular district event had me extremely unnerved. As I moved further into the room, I recognized no one from school. I ended up sitting by myself. People eventually came and sat near me, but with no acknowledgement of my existence. I felt terribly alone and unhappy.

Unfortunately, it got even worse. An eager young presenter decided to have us do a “mixer” which required us to pair up with someone else. Before I could make much of a move, all those teachers within close proximity of me were paired up and definitely making it known that I wasn’t welcome. I could have cried right then and there. I was too embarrassed to get up and go move somewhere else and I didn’t want to expose myself to further isolation so I just kept my eyes focused on the activity sheet.

I believe that God allows us to have difficult experiences to help us gain understanding of others and their circumstances. We often don’t realize it at the time, but somewhere along the way the light bulb goes on and we comprehend what God is trying to teach us.

I survived that difficult meeting day and managed to get something out of the guest speakers; but it was emotionally trying. As I drove home, I realized that I had some students in my class who likely felt very much like I had that day. They had arrived from other countries and other schools and were trying to adjust to our school setting and fitting into the existing strong cliquey cultural groups. I knew these students were having their challenges fitting in just like I had that day. These students had to face a great deal as they tried to make new friends and understand how the different school procedures worked.

I had watched my new students hurting. I care deeply for children and I wanted very much to help them. Yet I had never taught in a setting that had such strong cultural groups that made it more difficult for new arrivals and I didn’t know how to reach them. It wasn’t until that teacher meeting day that I truly understood the depths of my students’ struggles as they continued to adjust. I had a difficult time learning in my education session because I was so concerned about what to do and how to manage. How stressful it must be for my students as well. How difficult it must be for them to learn what I am trying to teach them when so much else is weighing them down. It was good for me to see the other side of things.

I was able to be a better teacher to these children because of my own experiences with change and feeling left out. It gave me more compassion and a greater window of understanding to guide my teaching methods.

Teaching children requires getting into their world and understanding where they are at. Teaching the faith is the same. How many life experiences do we have that can help us instruct others about the great love Jesus has for us, how God provides for us, and how the Holy Spirit guides us?

There are many out there who need our help. This devastating experience I had has made me much more cognizant of those on the outside of things. I take more time to seek out those who seem alone or lost. I greatly value connections and work harder at creating and maintaining them.

Sharing the Gospel message is not just about sharing the words, it is the manner that we present them and the care that goes along with that. When we can relate and have empathy with others, that helps considerably.

As you go about your day, pray for opportunities to reach out with God’s love to those in your sphere of influence. Our past experiences are not in vain. Our unique circumstances make us perfectly suited to reach out to particular people. Consider how you might do that today.

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